Well, it's official: I'm coming back to the land of open skies and country music. I officially accepted a job today and I'm extremely excited to move back in with my girls and come a little closer to home. I'm so looking forward to the summer: the heat (remind me of this when I start to complain), the blue skies, the time spent with people who know me well and the freedom from school.
I'm struggling with the idea of a calling. I honestly can't say that I feel called to law. I don't love the classes, I'm frustrated with the misapplication of ideals, and I have no passionate interest in anything that I can see turning into a legal career. I often wish I could go back to English or move forward a few years to the time when I'll be doing graduate work in something else - literature or maybe theology. I'm trying to be practical and to appreciate the benefits of law school: I'm learning lots of things that apply directly to the world around me, I'm being forced to learn self-discipline, and presumably things will get more interesting next year when I can start to choose my own classes. And yet I still find myself wishing I was doing something else.
Maybe it's just the time of year: the crack-down has begun and I wish I'd worked harder in the last six months. Then again, maybe I'm in for a few dry years. And that's okay: sometimes it's necessary to spend a significant amount of time doing something you're not passionate about. My dad, for instance, spent 20 years farming before he got into a career he really felt called to. I just dread the thought of getting sucked into the corporate law world - taking the easy way out and heading straight into a padded office as soon as I finish my articles. I really hope it doesn't happen. On the other hand, if it does happen I hope it will be because I've found an interest and developed a passion for it, not because the pensions are good and the work is there. We'll see. I'm intensely jealous of Megan and Ole with their T.S. Eliot seminars and multivarious literature classes, but I guess I'll suck it up and try to remember that I came here to learn a practical way that I can make a difference in the world.
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2 comments:
YAY FOR COMING BACK TO SASKATOON!!! I am rejoicing. Where are you working?
Girl, I don't know if anyone really gets into their calling. I am doing something that I enjoy, and I don't quite feel it as my calling. To be honest, I think you are going to be the best darn lawyer out there. You have these things called MORALS that people would pay gloriously for. You can use your knowledge for something you truely believe in, even if you are not being a corporate lawyer. You could be a writer! There are brilliant writers who are lawyers out there. Don't stress it too much, you'll find your niche soon enough.
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